Dragon’s Loyalty Award!

I was nominated yesterday for the “Dragon’s Loyalty Award” by Rachel – the lovely lady behind Illuminated Literation. I’m not sure what exactly this award means, but I’m honored nonetheless (is it really one word??). Even though this is clearly a mythical award, it is still a cool way to tell people that you acknowledge their existence, think they’re fucking neat, and learn more about fellow bloggers. My real question though is where can I find said dragon and am I loyal to him, or him to I?

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The Rules:

  1. Display the Award on your blog.
  2. Acknowledge the blogger who nominated you.
  3. Nominate six deserving bloggers.
  4. Write seven interesting facts about yourself.

Six Pretty Rad Bloggers:

  1. The Bloggess (whose writing I practically worship in a borderline unhealthy way)
  2. My Least Favorite Child Today (really just the greatest idea ever…I can’t wait to hold annual reviews for my children)
  3. Finding Ikigai (because she’s a genuine woman with good ideas who actually gives a shit about people)
  4. His First Mate (because being a Mil SO is fucking hard and she gets that)
  5. Just in Queso (because cheese and humor are two of the greatest things in life)
  6. Newish Wife (because her most recent post about pickle brined fried chicken has truly intrigued me…)

Seven “Interesting” Facts About Me

  1. I love GIFs (but I’m still not sure if it’s pronounced gif or jif). There is a GIF out there appropriate for every occasion. M6oXi0iTtSQulCkUchAs_giphy-2.gif
  2. I’ve always wanted to write a “Thank You” speech even though I will probably never win anything in my entire life. Does this mean I get to write/give one now?!
  3. I’m terrified that I will not know I am pregnant (in the very beginning) and accidentally go on a drinking binge that will leave my child with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or some other deformity that is scarring for life.
  4. I’m also afraid that I am actually unable to bear children…not that I’ve done anything to leave me infertile. Except watching Netflix in college on my laptop as it rested right on my skin, above my uterus…
  5. I’m really so painfully uncreative/unintersting that it is difficult to come up with 7 interesting facts about me (is this cheating?).
  6. My fiance and I like to hang out with each other while we poop. We’ve also used each other’s toothbrushes on several different occasions. Who needs boundaries…
  7. My dream is to write a book someday and/or own my own small business…but I really don’t possess enough skills at the moment to do either, so my dreams will likely crash and burn eventually and join the burial ground where all other adult’s hopes and dreams are laid to rest. oGWj4.gif

 

So yea…just want you all to know that I’m working on my thank you speech…

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This is the shit I actually think about

So, there are a pair of birds (my guess, swallows of some sort) that have decided to build their nest on the emergency floodlight in the breezeway right outside of our apartment door. I don’t appreciate the mental dilemma they have plagued me with. I can’t decide if I applaud them or think they are fucktards for their choice of location for their home.

The nest itself, crafted from Georgia clay and pine needles, is a fine work of architecture…I’m not kidding…it’s pretty amazing. On one hand, I get part of their logic – build a nest under a structure that is fairly protected from the elements; HOWEVER, I have some major issues with their decision.

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Attack, Nipples. ATTACK!
  1. They are in VERY close proximity to humans, which generally gives wild animals anxiety.
  2. The nest has absolutely no camouflage-like qualities to it. It’s just out there, visible to all. Any predator, human or animal, could destroy their lives and eat there babies…the savagery
  3. I feel like they got the whole “nature” thing wrong.

At first it was difficult to get too angry with them for shitting all over our stairs and making a mess when they are so little and cute. Now, it has gone from “mess” to complete squalor. Seriously guys, fuck you. Have some God damn respect. At this point, I’m hoping that nature takes it’s course and by that I mean that the neighborhood stray cat, that I’ve lovingly named Nipples (our friend named him “the dude”, which I kind of like better, but refuse to rename Nipples out of shear stubbornness) viciously attacks and devours them…

 

My favorite HEALTHY eats!

Let me preface this by telling you all that I am by no means a health guru, but I’ve expanded my knowledge quite a bit over the past few years in the health and fitness realm. Full disclosure – if someone suggests pizza, mac n cheese, wine, booze, cookies, tacos, etc., I will absolutely join them in the passenger seat on their journey of poor nutritional decisions. I believe in taking care of your body, but, just as importantly, having fun in life. I know it’s the thing for all women to have a poor self image, but I think I look pretty damn okay. This quote sums it up perfectly to me…

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With that being said…here are my favorite guilt-free eats!

Continue reading “My favorite HEALTHY eats!”

Netflix & Chill

Why live a life of moderation when you can binge instead?

What should I watch next? A question I find myself asking after I binge all episodes of my latest show addiction at that time. I am both proud and ashamed of the total hours of Netflix I have consumed in my short lifetime. I am without a doubt a sucker for a great, addicting television series. I have decided to post a list of my absolute favorite shows (in no particular order). YOU’RE WELCOME!
Continue reading “Netflix & Chill”

Behind every strong man is a strong(er) woman.

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On Friday morning, May 13th (ooooh, superstitious), I anxiously drove onto Fort Benning to Camp Rogers. I was supposed to receive a phone call from Alex the night before or morning of notifying me if he passed or recycled the first phase of Ranger School and I had not gotten any word. There was also no list of roster numbers posted that recycled or were a go. I paced the parking lot from 0730 until 0930 along with dozens of other spouses, family members, and children. I was trying to keep my hopes in check – expecting the worst, but hoping for the best. If he did not pass the phase, then he would not be walking out of the gate that day and I would be crushed. The Lt Colonel came out and briefed the crowd of loved ones on what the Ranger students had endured over the past few weeks and gave advice on what to let them eat/not eat over pass. At 0945, a list of roster numbers was posted online…Alex’s company, B Company, had by far the shortest list of “gos”. I was shocked and elated when I saw Alex’s number, C218, on the Go list! All I could keep saying was “HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT”. Continue reading “Behind every strong man is a strong(er) woman.”

Cute or obsessed…I don’t know…but definitely crazy.

Obviously, I miss my fiance who, as you all know, is currently at Ranger School…dun dun duuunnn. Instead of wallowing in self pity and sobbing every day, I’ve decided to make myself (and Alex, eventually) laugh instead. One morning last week, a brilliant idea came to me out of nowhere…ORDER A CUT OUT OF ALEX’S HEAD AND TAKE HIM ON ADVENTURES!! Below are the escapades we’ve been on recently. I think I’m hilarious.

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Alex looking fabulous in this wedding gown…really accentuates his cleavage. He helped me say yes to my dress, which is not pictured above.

Continue reading “Cute or obsessed…I don’t know…but definitely crazy.”